Making changes for the better

I have always been a fierce fighter…I fight to not just exist but to live.

Ever since I escaped from the house of my childhood enslavement, I have been fighting, and I am guessing that I will keep on fighting, until my last breath.

I don’t always feel like fighting, not when my depression, anxiety, and Complex PTSD takes over, then all I want to do is just not exist, but I do come out of that state, eventually…to continue to fight to change the current situation, for the better.

My bouts of PTSD, anxiety, and depression attacks are my motivators, once they have passed, not at the time they have me under their control.

I fight to change the situation I am in, to reduce or wipe them out of my life, I refuse to sit and wallow in them.  Sure, I want to learn everything I can about them, to understand them, to understand where they come from, what triggers them, and learn as much as I can about them.

I fight to educate the general population, around me on my mental illnesses, and the health sector in New Zealand. I fight to remove the stigma that surrounds my mental illnesses, I fight for people to take notice, and care about it, and stop the apathy of the general population, and the NZ Health Sector.

Way back, when I was a young girl of eight, I was kept locked up for years, abused by the captor, and their friends and family, to a point where I was only months away from death’s door, but there was a part of me who fought to survive, a part of me who was not ready to die yet, wanted to experience life more, and I fought back, even death.

My fighting spirit has brought me around the world, from a small village in Bangladesh, to a big City in New Zealand, via the world, and I am not ready to stop fighting yet.

The only person who can make a difference in my life is me, with the help of my therapist, and the Mental Health team, to whom I am eternally grateful.

I want you to fight, to change the things you are not happy about, do whatever it takes to change them, do not sit there and think there is nothing you can do, you can!

If one doctor is not right, get another, if one therapist is not right, find another. It may take you time to do it, because after each rejection, each fob off, each ignorant person, you will have setbacks, that is ok. take care of yourself while you are there, re-energise your batteries, and start again…but don’t give up, and don’t give in.


It’s not about the ‘Bad boy’ or the ‘Nice Guy’

Today I had one of those Eureka moments, during a conversation with a fellow free thinking woman, on men and dating, and our personal preferences.

As we described our likes and preferences, it came about that race, religion, creed, did not matter….all that mattered was that he be an Alpha male, or even a beta male, but definitely not the Omega, and from our own experiences, most of those so called ‘Nice guys’ fall into the Omega category.

Here are top 10 signs you are not an alpha male, according to, in descending order:

10: You let her pay for dinner

An Alpha Male provides for his pack. If she tries to contribute to this, he calmly takes the cheque and says, “I’ll handle this.” End of discussion.

9: You never apologise, even when you are wrong

An Alpha Male has no hang-ups. He simply says, “I was wrong. Apologise.” And he rectifies the problem if possible.

8: You suck up to leaders and seek their approval

An Alpha Male doesn’t suck up to anyone. He is the leader.

7: You Gossip

About your boss. About your buddies. About your girlfriend. You don’t mind pointing out other people’s failings and weaknesses and having a good laugh. An Alpha Male never betrays his pack. He doesn’t need to build himself up by tearing others down.

6: You Panic in a Crisis

An Alpha Male’s natural element is change. Rapid change is simply an interesting challenge to him. He goes into a special kind of ice-cold, almost detached state, quickly sums up the situation, does due diligence if time allows for it, and acts immediately and decisively based on prior experience if there is no time to spare.

5: You act before you think

Male may act with lightning speed, but he always thinks before he acts. He never runs to the corner and goes off in all directions like a type-A guy does.

4: You blame others

An Alpha Male takes responsibility for his own actions.

3: You Lie

To your boss. To your buddies. To your girlfriend. An Alpha Male isn’t a liar. He’s a stand-up guy; he shoots straight. He doesn’t have to slither out of a mess he got himself into. He does what’s right, and lets the chips fall where they may.

2: You Betray others to get ahead

An Alpha Male never betrays a member of his pack.

1: You Bully People

Male takes on a real fight when it is necessary, and only if it is necessary (Alphas are not “scrappers”), but he won’t think twice taking on someone far bigger/stronger/better-situated than he is if the matter being decided is serious. And due to his fierce drive, chances are good he will win.